Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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