Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
