apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Terrible idea I love it
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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