New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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