just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
