I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
This house was built for laser tag.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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