I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
