my being single is dangerous.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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