When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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