I can text with my tongue
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
