Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
