i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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