Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
