Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
