You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
