Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
