Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
