Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
