Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry chernabog hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(214): View more from Texas

just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge

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(360): View more from Washington

I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...

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(270): View more from Kentucky

We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.

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(406): View more from Montana

You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.

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(706): View more from Georgia

I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a

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(919): View more from North Carolina

TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.

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