i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
