so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
