My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
