Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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