Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
So squirting runs in the family.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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