your parents love me but you hate me
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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