let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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