ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
