I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
she pinky promised me she was 18
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Randomize
