Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
