so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
