Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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