yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
