"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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