sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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