chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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