No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
