i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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