He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
