Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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