Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I licked your asshole in confidence.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
