I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
