What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
