so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
