if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
