Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
