I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
