Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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