I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Two words: nipple clamps
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