She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
