2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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