How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
