btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
