Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
