i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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